To my Holy Brother Shmarya..

..We see in Torah, in the holy writings, that our people have failed in practically every generation since our birth.

Number one, Torah is perfect.

Number two, there have been great Jews.

Number three, in this generation they are very hard to find.

Every generation is lower than the last.

In Bereishis 6;5 It says that "every product of the thoughts of mans heart are evil always".

You should get away from bad people and seek out the good ones even if you die trying.

Don't bash good people and group them together with the sinners.

Don't be surprised when large groups of people and brilliant tyrants flourish. That is the way of the world. It's nothing new. Broaden your perspective.

You should not leave something so precious just because many sinners are vying for it as well.

I wish you only the best of the best my beloved Brother. All good things are to come..

...

On choosing the lesser of one evil..

Why do my fellow Jews insist on raising more ignorant Jews? This is happening in massive count. They are like sports cars with the wrong oil, racing off road, blindfolded. They are a danger to themselves and to the world at large, totally and utterly retarded. Many are excellent in the skill of translating and practicing Torah albeit without the correct intention. They are selfish, ignorant, scared, bigoted, nasty, frightened, weak, cowardly, dangerous people.

I have attempted to connect with them. I've gone to Shuls and eaten with them. I've been completely exposed to them and been utterly destroyed by them, running into walls of psychotic retardation without end.

Now there's a new dilemma. The group of Jews that has been the most loyal in my experience has a demented monkey on it's back which they are not shaking off, and I don't particularly want a monkey on my back. This nixes yet another disease ridden hopeful, to my disappointment.

I am being called to rise. I am being called to be like my Forefathers. I am being called to struggle uncomfortably. I am being called to be better in a targeted way. This I am doing, and this I will do.

I am not and never again will be..

A fool

How to choose the lesser of one evil

Where am I? Oh my G. I am in danger. I need help. I know Who helps.

Being pulled in so many directions, my energy is distorted.

All I want is regeneration... revivification, and I know that I will never get it if I stay in the line of fire... and., I am, in-the-line of fire.

Memories. Expectations. Dependence. These are my other names. No, I don't have beautiful names like the Greats. Mine are reminders of how low I am.

It's hard to say no. It's hard to have friendships with party tanks. Life sucks, but there's another side to it, one that I'm trying to reach... and can... and will. I do need to be great, but I don't need to be in the company of evil, uncaring, selfish, destructive, egotistical, hateful psychopaths. I need to be great and good.

I am strong. I am blessed. Aren't we all that want to be..?

Good Night