Have you ever journeyed from one life to another? Have you ever realized that you were living the wrong way, and spent the time and effort to live the right way? It's not unlike going on an actual journey, even though you keep returning to the same apartment in the same town. The main change is who you associate with. You've hit dead end after dead end, but it can't go on forever. It has to stop, either in life, or in death. What about the healing? With lifestyle and social change there are things like dietary and emotional changes. It's a wild ride! It's recovery, and it's good.

         What's with all of these people that I've been associating with? Who are they? Are they ok? Is something wrong with them? Are they good? Are they healthy? I wonder. Maybe I'm the wrong one? It seems so dangerous to continue being tied to them. Something seems wrong with them. I've had so much potential. I can see the world in such a good way, but I haven't been. I've dived into the belly of the beast. I've been in the cauldron for very long, in a bad place not being able to see anything good. Now when I think of these "friends" that I have, it's blowing my mind. Who are these people? Are they for real?

         I can't continue associating with the wrong people. It's as simple as that. It took a while, but now I actually get it! Yes! It's blowing my mind. It seems that there are Jews that are able to live separate lives and ones that do things tightly knit together in groups without individuality. This is new to me. Maybe there are just different levels of what groups are and what their mentalities are. Maybe there are brainwashed groups and free thinking groups.

         Evil is real, It comes from people, and It will get you if you let it.

         What about when people judge you, size you up, prey on you, and smash you in their minds, with their eyes? What about that? Who would want to be around that? Maybe that's how it is in a place where everybody except you is brainwashed. It's a bad to be around people like that. Pure evil. Hunters, murderers, flame throwers. They must stop. Will they pay? Maybe. Should they pay? I have no idea.

         Is my avoda good? Is my future good? Am I right or wrong? As long as I grow I am right.

         I am entering the realm of light. It's warm. It feels good. It is good. It is great. It is amazing. It's awesome. It's the freaking best. Please rain luck down on me.

         No more accusations! No more belittling! No more psychosis! No more insanity! No more evil.